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3 a.m. isn't for youyou are a bottle of liquor,
spilling out on the kitchen floor,
emptying quicker and quicker
until you can't take anymore.
and when i try to stem the flow,
to wipe your sorrow from the tile,
you try so hard to let it all go
when i just need you to stay awhile.
"i can't, i can't," you cried,
tears falling like rain from a cloud
"honey, you tried," i replied, "you knew i'd
listen if you'd said your thoughts were this loud."
and i'll keep trying to understand you
even if your pain cannot be matched,
'cause darling, i know everything tastes new
without conscious thoughts attached.
Reality's RejectionI look at the world as it is,
but am I noticed or seen?
I have nothing that makes me stand out,
no crystals or jewels that gleam.
I am just me, and it's not enough.
I try to get by but it's really tough.
I push myself harder but it gets rough.
I'm shown that I don't have the right stuff.
Simply throwing your hat into the ring
isn't worth the time to do,
especially with all the strife and pain
that life is meant to put you through.
Sometimes I wonder if it would make more sense
to rig up a bomb or two.
Then I would just curl up to it like a cat
and the pieces of me can stick to the wall with glue.
At least when I'm pushed away with such
an explosive opinion like that,
the pain will be non-existant,
and I'll be a new form of splat.
But being alive is the worst for it
and it doesn't make things any easier.
Without any support for myself,
must I turn to something sleazier?
I would rather not; I stick to my guns.
I hold fast to what I feel is right.
I will push back if I have to,
and will c
Sixty-one SecondsIt took him sixty-one seconds to die. I counted.
The beach was only a walk away from there, and the sun was beating down on our heads and our hats. We hid under the trees and laughed. We were in love, if that's what love meant. We hugged each other, as we walked down the burning pavement in loud flip-flops and ripped shorts.
We were so close. I didn't know that that would be the last time I'd ever see him alive.
I was nervous when I told him, that if we were really in love, we would be together forever. He giggled softly, and told me forever was a long time. I knew that of course. It was too good to be true, I thought. He told me not to think about forever, and we sat on the park bench, overlooking the beach. I leaned my head on his shoulder and I felt his smile light up above me, and I smiled too and closed my eyes. Everything was perfect, that moment there, it felt like forever, a good kind of forever.
We didn't notice the shouting. We were too in love.
Love can do that. Love is blin
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
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