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Daily Deviation

Daily Deviation

May 23, 2012
Telekinesthetics by *JoeGPcom
Featured by nasakii
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Telekinesthetics

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Joe gets a glove that grants him telekinetic abilities, but George isn't so sure. Is telekinesis real, or just sci-fi hogwash?

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Comments374
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vepurusg's avatar
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star-empty::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

I disagree with the other Deviant who criticized the blank expression- that's one of the best parts.

The strongest humor in this for me is the ambiguity. Does he actually have powers from the glove, or is he really delusional?

The unreal nature of his peer's responses to what appears to be happening, and the casual explanation go a long way to drive in the humor of that ambiguity.

I would like to have heard the skeptical hamster talk more- rather than appearing to have been knocked out. Offering plausible explanations for things.

I also think the explanation of confirmation bias could have been made stronger with an example; most people are not going to understand that.

The best way to have done that might have been to start out slowly and work up to the major telekinetic feats.

"Look, I can move this pen on the table"
Pen rolls off

"That table is unbalanced; the pen was bound to roll off sooner or later; us talking might have just blown it slightly and given it the push it needed. It's just a coincidence that it happened the same time you tried to move it."

"What about the whole table?"
Table lifts off the ground to ceiling

"It wasn't secured to the floor. Somebody in the apartment upstairs probably turned on the microwave at that same moment, and the magnetic field attracted the screws in the table. Coincidence. You're just suffering from confirmation bias... etc.."

If you work up to the punchline of everything being thrown around the room, and the hamster explaining what confirmation bias is (after some examples), it could come across better for those who aren't familiar with it, and end up funnier by building up to the joke rather than starting off with it in full force (in my opinion, the impact of the joke is lessened a bit by not having sufficient build up).

I hope that helps,